1
I nodded again, but I knew I would not grow up to drive a bulldozer. It would be awful to be dirty all day like these men. I didn't say it, but at best I would keep one in the backyard, like a goat.Augusten Burroughs
2
And we were married and all the windows were open but the smell of flowers was so thick and sickly sweet. I felt like I might choke to death.Augusten Burroughs
3
I love you, " she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center of her chest. This, at least, had not been left behind at the hospital.Augusten Burroughs
4
I slipped on a turtleneck, laughing when my head became stuck in the turtle part. If they weren't called turtlenecks, I wouldn't have worn them.Augusten Burroughs
5
I discovered the bleeding when he licked my hand and left a swath of blood behind, death's autograph.Augusten Burroughs
6
My goal was to get through the day as fast as possible. I worked fast because I wanted to be done. I wanted to be done because I wanted to go home to my nest and drink.Augusten Burroughs