I put my back against the wall. I slide down to the floor. I imagine Ryan sitting next to me. I imagine him rubbing my back, the way he did when my grandfather died. I imagine him saying, "She's going to a better place. She's OK." I imagine the way my grandfather might have done this for my grandmother when she lost her own mom or her own grandmother. I imagine my grandmother sitting where I am now, my grandfather kneeling beside her, telling her all the things I want to be told. Holding her the way that only someone in particular can hold you. When I'm her age, when I'm lying in a hospital bed, ready to die, whom will I be thinking of? It's Ryan. It's always been Ryan. Just because I can live without him doesn't mean I want to. And I don't. I don't want to. I want to hear his voice. The way it is rough but sometimes smooth and almost soulful. I want to see his face, with his stubble from never shaving down to the skin. I want to smell him again. I want to hold the roughness of his hands. I want to feel the way they envelop mine, dwarfing them, making me feel small. I need my husband. Taylor Jenkins Reid
About This Quote

The author of this quote, Maya Angelou, is describing a moment of intense suffering and isolation. Angelou mentions the wall she is leaning against and the floor where she is sitting. She then imagines her husband sitting next to her and offering words of comfort. She then goes on to describe how she would want her husband to hold her if she was in her last hours. This quote represents the power of love and the power of holding someone close when you are suffering from a great loss.

Source: After I Do

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