He knew Alec enough by now to know the conflicting impulses that warred in him. He was conscientious, the kind of person who believed that the others around him were so much more important than he was, who already believed he was letting everybody down. And he was honest, the kind of person that was naturally open about all he felt and wanted. Alec's virtues had made a trap for him; these two good qualities had collided painfully. He felt he could not be honest without disappointing everyone he loved. It was a hideous conundrum for him. It was as if the world had been designed to make him unhappy. .Cassandra Clare
About This Quote
When Alec was in the Army, he had a friend in a different platoon. He was a conscientious person, a man of good character who found it difficult to see the good in others, especially in himself. He had been honest when they first met and had been open about his feelings without the fear of being hurt. Alec had been in love with him from the beginning, but when they were on a mission together, Alec failed to notice his friend's crush on him. Another soldier, an especially good friend of Alec's, noticed it and took the pressure off both of them by asking him out on a date. Alec was hurt that his friend wasn't interested in him and felt guilty for not noticing the crush his friend had on him. The two soldiers eventually fell in love with one another and became friends with Alec. They each understood how important they were to each other and felt happy about being able to be honest with one another from then on.
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