When you have a problem with an adult–say, for example, you have a friend who's always borrowing things and returning them late or broken or not at all–you probably don't think about how you can punish that person. You think about how to respectfully protect yourself. You don't say, "Now that you've given me back my jacket with a stain on it, and broken the side mirror off my car, I'm going to. slap you." That would be assault. Or ". lock you in your room for an hour." That would be imprisonment. Or ". take away your smart phone." That would be theft. You'd probably say something like, "I don't feel comfortable lending you clothes anymore. I get very upset when they come back damaged. And, I can't lend you my car, which I just got repaired. I need to have it in working condition. In fact, I'd appreciate some help with the repair bill!. Joanna Faber
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