So, what are you in for? MANSLAUGHTER! ! ! I SLAUGHTERED A MAN! ! JUST LIKE A PIG! ! ! PUT HIM ON A SPIT AND PUT AN APPLE IN HIS MOUTH! ! ! !

Brian Regan
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  2. I love you like a fat kid loves cake! - Scott Adams

  3. Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. - Lemony Snicket

  4. When God Created Mothers"When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?"... - Erma Bombeck

  5. And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders. - Cassandra Clare

More Quotes By Brian Regan
  1. That’s why I admired that kid who spelled it wrong on purpose so he could sit down. He knew he wasn’t going to win, so why stand there for 3 hours. First round. “Cat, K-A-T, I’m outta here.” Then as he passed you, “Ha! I...

  2. It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well.

  3. We needed a refrigerator for our new place and I've never bought a refrigerator my whole life. I went into the appliance store, there's like 900 of 'em lined up, there's a salesman there. What's this guy supposed to say about refrigerators? "Well you got...

  4. So, what are you in for? MANSLAUGHTER! ! ! I SLAUGHTERED A MAN! ! JUST LIKE A PIG! ! ! PUT HIM ON A SPIT AND PUT AN APPLE IN HIS MOUTH! ! ! !

  5. Is there any I could get a glass of water?"[waiter] There is no way.. I toss and turn many a night trying to think up some way some how I could get glasses of water to costomers but I keep coming up empty... Legend has...

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