Often men who have been emotionally neglected and abused as children by dominating mothers bond with assertive women, only to have their childhood feelings of being engulfed surface. While they could not 'smash their mommy' and still receive love, they find that they can engage in intimate violence with partners who respond to their acting out by trying harder to connect with them emotionally, hoping that the love offered in the present will heal the wounds of the past. If only one party in the relationship is working to create love, to create the space of emotional connection, the dominator model remains in place and the relationship just becomes a site for continuous power struggle. Bell Hooks
About This Quote

If you feel that you have been emotionally abused and neglected by your mother, then perhaps you should be in a relationship with someone who is assertive and willing to show you love and affection. That way, you can get the love and attention that you need without the constant struggle of trying to hold on to your abusive mother’s affections.

Some Similar Quotes
  1. I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. - Marilyn Monroe

  2. You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth. - William W. Purkey

  3. You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. - Dr. Seuss

  4. A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you. - Elbert Hubbard

  5. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. - Unknown

More Quotes By Bell Hooks
  1. Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them. If the first woman they passionately loved,...

  2. Genuine love is rarely an emotional space where needs are instantly gratified. To know love we have to invest time and commitment..'dreaming that love will save us, solve all our problems or provide a steady state of bliss or security only keeps us stuck in...

  3. Living simply makes loving simple.

  4. Often men who have been emotionally neglected and abused as children by dominating mothers bond with assertive women, only to have their childhood feelings of being engulfed surface. While they could not 'smash their mommy' and still receive love, they find that they can engage...

  5. Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect and trust.

Related Topics