And so I was scared. I was scared of my own sexual hunger, which felt so secretive and uncharted, and I was scared of the sexual hunger of boys, which felt so vivid and overt, and I was terribly uncertain of the relationships between sex and power and value, which seemed so merged and hard to tease apart. In the midst of all that, I didn't exactly loathe my body, or feel ashamed of it, but I was deeply ashamed of my fear, which felt disabling and immature and woefully, painfully uncool, a terrible secret, evidence of some profound failing and ignorance on my part. Other girls, or so I imagined, knew what to do, how to use their power, how to derive pleasure from it, and in contrast, I felt not only freakish but isolated, as though I was standing outside a vital, defining loop. . Caroline Knapp
About This Quote

The author, Mira Gonzalez, describes her own experience of her sexual awakening. She describes that she felt ashamed of her sexuality and that she was ashamed of her fear of it. However, she also describes that she was not exactly a "freakish" sexual being who used it for pleasure and power. Instead, she felt isolated by this aspect of herself and as if she was standing outside a vital and defining loop.

Source: Appetites: Why Women Want

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