The more invested I am in my own ideas about reality, the more those experiences will feel like victimizations rather than the ups and downs of relating. Actually, I believe that the less I conceptualize things that way, the more likely it is that people will want to stay by me, because they will not feel burdened, consciously or unconsciously, by my projections, judgments, entitlements, or unrealistic expectations. David Richo
About This Quote

This quote is actually written by Dr. Aaron Lazare, who is a psychiatrist who believes that when you are in relationships the idea that someone has to be victimised will prevent you from being in your relationships. Dr. Aaron Lazare believes that when people start to think in terms of “them” and “us” they stop relating and start feeling victimized and pushed away. He also thinks that people who do not conceptualize things like this tend to make it easy for others to be around them because they do not expect anything from them and do not judge them as harshly as those who do.

Source: Daring To Trust: Opening Ourselves To Real Love And Intimacy

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More Quotes By David Richo
  1. The more invested I am in my own ideas about reality, the more those experiences will feel like victimizations rather than the ups and downs of relating. Actually, I believe that the less I conceptualize things that way, the more likely it is that people...
  2. Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.
  3. When we feel unsafe with someone and still stay with him, we damage our ability to discern trustworthiness in those we will meet in the future.
  4. The opposite of interpersonal trust is not mistrust. It is despair. This is because we have given up on believing that trustworthiness and fulfillment are possible from others. We have lost our hope in our fellow humans.
  5. The foundation of adult trust is not "You will never hurt me." It is "I trust myself with whatever you do.
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