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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.Woody Allen
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Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.Woody Allen
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.Woody Allen
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.Woody Allen
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.Woody Allen
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.Woody Allen
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I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.Woody Allen
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.Woody Allen
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You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.Woody Allen
10
There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.Woody Allen
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.Woody Allen
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.Woody Allen
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!Woody Allen
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To you, I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the loyal opposition.Woody Allen
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God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.Woody Allen
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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know... I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.Woody Allen
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.Woody Allen
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You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.Woody Allen
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I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.Woody Allen
20
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.Woody Allen