143 Quotes & Sayings By Simone De Beauvoir

Simone de Beauvoir was a French author, political activist, philosopher, and social theorist. Her theories on ethics, existentialism, feminism, and politics have influenced feminist movements in art, literature, and contemporary society. A noted thinker in continental philosophy, she is one of the key figures associated with the philosophical movement termed Structuralism.

In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal...
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In itself, homosexuality is as limiting as heterosexuality: the ideal should be to be capable of loving a woman or a man; either, a human being, without feeling fear, restraint, or obligation. Simone De Beauvoir
One's life has value so long as one attributes value...
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One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, and compassion Simone De Beauvoir
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Two separate beings, in different circumstances, face to face in freedom and seeking justification of their existence through one another, will always live an adventure full of risk and promise." (p. 248) Simone De Beauvoir
I am incapable of conceiving infinity, and yet I do...
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I am incapable of conceiving infinity, and yet I do not accept finity. I want this adventure that is the context of my life to go on without end. Simone De Beauvoir
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I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger. Simone De Beauvoir
It is in the knowledge of the genuine conditions of...
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It is in the knowledge of the genuine conditions of our lives that we must draw our strength to live and our reasons for living. Simone De Beauvoir
One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.
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One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman. Simone De Beauvoir
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Regardless of the staggering dimensions of the world about us, the density of our ignorance, the risks of catastrophes to come, and our individual weakness within the immense collectivity, the fact remains that we are absolutely free today if we choose to will our existence in its finiteness, a finiteness which is open on the infinite. And in fact, any man who has known real loves, real revolts, real desires, and real will knows quite well that he has no need of any outside guarantee to be sure of his goals; their certitude comes from his own drive. Simone De Beauvoir
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In particular those who are condemned to stagnation are often pronounced happy on the pretext that happiness consists in being at rest. This notion we reject, for our perspective is that of existentialist ethics. Every subject plays his part as such specifically through exploits or projects that serve as a mode of transcendence; he achieves liberty only through a continual reaching out towards other liberties. There is no justification for present existence other than its expansion into an indefinitely open future. Every time transcendence falls back into immanence, stagnation, there is a degradation of existence into the ‘en-sois’ — the brutish life of subjection to given conditions — and of liberty into constraint and contingence. This downfall represents a moral fault if the subject consents to it; if it is inflicted upon him, it spells frustration and oppression. In both cases it is an absolute evil. Every individual concerned to justify his existence feels that his existence involves an undefined need to transcend himself, to engage in freely chosen projects. Simone De Beauvoir
What an odd thing a diary is: the things you...
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What an odd thing a diary is: the things you omit are more important than those you put in. Simone De Beauvoir
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Capabilities are clearly manifested only when they have been realized. Simone De Beauvoir
Authentic love must be founded on reciprocal recognition of two...
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Authentic love must be founded on reciprocal recognition of two freedoms... Simone De Beauvoir
Today, however, we are having a hard time living because...
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Today, however, we are having a hard time living because we are so bent on outwitting death. Simone De Beauvoir
The misfortune is that although everyone must come to [death],...
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The misfortune is that although everyone must come to [death], each experiences the adventure in solitude. We never left Maman during those last days... and yet we were profoundly separated from her. Simone De Beauvoir
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One night I summoned God, if He really existed, to show Himself to me. He didn't, and I never addressed another word to Him. In my heart of hearts I was very glad He didn't exist. I should have hated it if what was going on here below had had to end up in eternity. Simone De Beauvoir
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Alone: for the first time I understood the terrible significance of that word. Alone without a witness, without anyone to speak to, without refuge. The breath in my body, the blood in my veins, all this hurly-burly in my head existed for nobody. Simone De Beauvoir
I was too much of an extremist to be able...
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I was too much of an extremist to be able to live under the eye of God and at the same time say both yes and no to life Simone De Beauvoir
It was easier for me to think of a world...
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It was easier for me to think of a world without a creator than of a creator burdened with all the contradictions in the world. Simone De Beauvoir
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In a way, literature is true than life, ' he said to himself. 'On paper, you say exactly and completely what you feel. How easy it is to break things off on paper! You hate, you shout, you kill, you commit suicide; you carry things to the very end. And that's why it's false. But it's damned satisfying. In life, you're constantly denying yourself, and others are always contradicting you. On paper, I make time stand still and I impose my convictions on the whole world; they become the only reality. . Simone De Beauvoir
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‎A day in which I don't write leaves a taste of ashes. Simone De Beauvoir
He reflected. 'I know a lot of different kids of...
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He reflected. 'I know a lot of different kids of people what I want is to show each of them how the others really are. You hear so many lies! Simone De Beauvoir
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Yet I loathe the thought of annihilating myself quite as much now as I ever did. I think with sadness of all the books I’ve read, all the places I’ve seen, all the knowledge I’ve amassed and that will be no more. All the music, all the paintings, all the culture, so many places: and suddenly nothing.. If it had at least enriched the earth; if it had given birth to… what? A hill? A rocket? But no. Nothing will have taken place. I can still see the hedge of hazel trees flurried by the wind and the promises with which I fed my beating heart while I stood gazing at the gold-mine at my feet: a whole life to live. The promises have all been kept. And yet, turning an incredulous gaze towards that young and credulous girl, I realise with stupor how much I was gypped. Simone De Beauvoir
If I were to share Jaques' existence I would find...
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If I were to share Jaques' existence I would find it hard to hold my own against him, for already I found his nihilism contagious. Simone De Beauvoir
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Jaques was only what he was; but from a distance he became something more, became everything to me, everything I did not possess. It was to him I owed pains and pleasures whose violence alone saved me from the deserts of boredom in which I found myself bogged down. Simone De Beauvoir
Every war, every revolution, demands the sacrifice of a generation,...
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Every war, every revolution, demands the sacrifice of a generation, of a collectivity, by those who undertake it. Simone De Beauvoir
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Art, literature, and philosophy are attempts to found the world anew on a human freedom: that of the creator; to foster such an aim, one must first unequivocally posit oneself as a freedom. The restrictions that education and custom impose on a woman limit her grasp of the universe.. Indeed, for one to become a creator, it is not enough to be cultivated, that is, to make going to shows and meeting people part of one's life; culture must be apprehended through the free movement of a transcendence; the spirit with all its riches must project itself in an empty sky that is its to fill; but if a thousand fine bonds tie it to the earth, its surge is broken. The girl today can certainly go out alone, stroll in the Tuileries; but I have already said how hostile the street is: eyes everywhere, hands waiting: if she wanders absentmindedly, her thoughts elsewhere, if she lights a cigarette in a cafe, if she goes to the cinema alone, an unpleasant incident can quickly occur; she must inspire respect by the way she dresses and behaves: this concern rivets her to the ground and self. "Her wings are clipped." At eighteen, T.E. Lawrence went on a grand tour through France by bicycle; a young girl would never be permitted to take on such an adventure.. Yet such experiences have an inestimable impact: this is how an individual in the headiness of freedom and discovery learns to look at the entire world as his fief..[ The girl] may feel alone within the world: she never stands up in front of it, unique and sovereign. . Simone De Beauvoir
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Therefore the misfortune which comes to man as a result of the fact that he was a child is that his freedom was first concealed from him and that all his life he will be nostalgic for the time when he did not know it's exigencies. Simone De Beauvoir
(…) symbolism did not fall out of heaven or rise...
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(…) symbolism did not fall out of heaven or rise out of subterranean depths: it was elaborated like language, by the human reality… Simone De Beauvoir
I didn't know the first thing about the people around...
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I didn't know the first thing about the people around me, but that didn't matter: I was in a new world; and I had the feelings that at last I had put my finger on the secret of freedom. Simone De Beauvoir
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We have to respect freedom only when it is intended for freedom, not when it strays, flees itself, and resigns itself. A freedom which is interested only in denying freedom must be denied. And it is not true that the recognition of the freedom of others limits my own freedom: to be free is not to have the power to do anything you like; it is to be able to surpass the given toward an open future; the existence of others as a freedom defines my situation and is even the condition of my own freedom. I am oppressed if I am thrown into prison, but not if I am kept from throwing my neighbor into prison. . Simone De Beauvoir
But I was brought up on convent morals and paternal...
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But I was brought up on convent morals and paternal nationalism, I was getting bogged down in contradictions. Simone De Beauvoir
Why one man rather than another? It was odd. You...
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Why one man rather than another? It was odd. You find yourself involved with a fellow for life just because he was the one that you met when you were nineteen. Simone De Beauvoir
Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act...
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Change your life today. Don't gamble on the future, act now, without delay. Simone De Beauvoir
To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence...
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To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose confidence in oneself. Simone De Beauvoir
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The younger and healthier a woman is and the more her new and glossy body seems destined for eternal freshness, the less useful is artifice; but the carnal weakness of this prey that man takes and its ominous deterioration always have to be hidden from him.. In any case, the more traits and proportions of a woman seem contrived, the more she delighted the heart of man because she seemed to escape the metamorphosis of natural things. The result is this strange paradox that by desiring to grasp nature, but transfigured, in woman, man destines her to artifice. Simone De Beauvoir
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I’ve done everything I wanted to do, writing books, learning about things, but I’ve been swindled all the same because it’s never anything more. Simone De Beauvoir
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The facts of religion were convincing only to those who were already convinced. Simone De Beauvoir
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All those minds that are interested in finding out the truth communicate with each other across the distances of space and time. I, too, was taking part in the effort which humanity makes to know. Simone De Beauvoir
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Being on the fringes of the world is not the best place for someone who intends to re-create it: here again, to go beyond the given, one must be deeply rooted in it. Personal accomplishments are almost impossible in human categories collectively kept in an inferior situation. Simone De Beauvoir
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My contemplation is an excruciation only because it is also a joy. Simone De Beauvoir
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I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself Simone De Beauvoir
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No one is more arrogant toward women, more aggressive or scornful, than the man who is anxious about his virility. Simone De Beauvoir
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...her wings are cut and then she is blamed for not knowing how to fly. Simone De Beauvoir
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The point is not for women simply to take power out of men’s hands, since that wouldn’t change anything about the world. It’s a question precisely of destroying that notion of power. Simone De Beauvoir
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Woman has ovaries and a uterus; such are the particular conditions that lock her in her subjectivity; some even say she thinks with her hormones. Man vainly forgets that his anatomy also contains hormones and testicles. He grasps his body as a direct and normal link with the world that he believes he apprehends in all objectivity, whereas he considers woman's body an obstacle, a prison, burdened by everything that particularizes it. Simone De Beauvoir
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The fact is that men encounter more complicity in their woman companions than the oppressor usually finds in the oppressed; and in bad faith they use it as a pretext to declare that woman wanted the destiny they imposed on her. We have seen that in reality her whole education conspires to bar her from paths of revolt and adventure; all of society - beginning with her respected parents - lies to her in extolling the high value of love, devotion, and the gift of self and in concealing the fact that neither lover, husband nor children will be disposed to bear the burdensome responsibility of it. She cheerfully accepts these lies because they invite her to take the easy slope: and that is the worst of the crimes committed against her; from her childhood and throughout her life, she is spoiled, she is corrupted by the fact that this resignation, tempting to any existent anxious about her freedom, is mean to be her vocation; if one encourages a child to be lazy by entertaining him all day, without giving him the occasion to study, without showing him its value, no one will say when he reaches the age of man that he chose to be incapable and ignorant; this is how the woman is raised, without ever being taught the necessity of assuming her own existence; she readily lets herself count on the protection, love, help and guidance of others; she lets herself be fascinated by the hope of being able to realise her being without doing anything. She is wrong to yield to this temptation; but the man is ill advised to reproach her for it since it is he himself who tempted her. . Simone De Beauvoir
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How could women ever have had genius when all possibility of accomplishing a work of genius - or just a work - was refused them? Simone De Beauvoir
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How could van Gogh have been born woman? A woman would not have been sent on mission to Boringe, she would not have felt men's misery as her own crime, she would not have sought redemption; so she would never have painted van Gogh's sunflowers. And this without taking into account that the painter's kind of life - the solitude in Arles, going to cafés, whorehouses, everything that feed into van Gogh's art by feeding his sensibility - would have been prohibited to her. A woman could never have become Kafka: in her doubts and anxieties, she would never have recognised the anguish of Man driven from paradise. Simone De Beauvoir
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In truth, to go for a walk with one's eyes open is enough to demonstrate that humanity is divided into two classes of individuals whose clothes, faces, bodies, smiles, gaits, interests, and occupations are manifestly different. Perhaps these differences are superficial, perhaps they are destined to disappear. What is certain is that right now they do most obviously exist. Simone De Beauvoir
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Scriassine studied me in turn. "You're not so dumb, you know. Generally I dislike intelligent women, maybe because they're not intelligent enough. They always want to prove to themselves, and to everyone else, how terribly smart they are. So all they do is talk and never understand anything. What struck me the first time I saw you was that way you have of keeping quiet. Simone De Beauvoir
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The feminine body is expected to be flesh, but discreetly so; Simone De Beauvoir
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If so few female geniuses are found in history, it is because society denies them any means of expression. Simone De Beauvoir
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The relation of woman to husband, of of daughter to father, of sister to brother, is a relation of vassalage. Simone De Beauvoir
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She gives birth in pain, she heals males' wounds, she nurses the newborn and buries the dead; of man she knows all that offends his pride and humiliates his will. While inclining before him and submitting flesh to spirit, she remains on the carnal borders of the spirit; and she contests the sharpness of hard masculine architecture by softening the angles; she introduces free luxury and unforeseen grace. Simone De Beauvoir
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; the man who does not "understand" a woman is happy to replace his subjective deficiency with an objective resistance; instead of admitting his ignorance, he recognizes the presence of a mystery exterior to himself: here is an excuse that flatters his laziness and vanity at the same time. Simone De Beauvoir
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The relation of woman to husband, of daughter to father, of sister to brother, is a relation of vassalage. Simone De Beauvoir
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Taking without being taken in the anguish of becoming prey is the dangerous game of adolescent feminine sexuality. Simone De Beauvoir
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The little girl feels that her body is escaping her, that it is no longer the clear expression of her individuality: it becomes foreign to her; and at the same moment she is grasped by others as a thing: on the street, eyes follow her, her body is subject to comments; she would like to become invisible; she is afraid of becoming flesh and afraid to show her flesh. Simone De Beauvoir
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: woman is an eminently poetic reality since man projects onto her everything he is not resolved to be. Simone De Beauvoir
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One understands now the drama that rends the adolescent girl at puberty: she cannot become “a grown-up” without accepting her femininity Simone De Beauvoir
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[Woman] is simply what man decrees; thus she is called "the sex, " by which is meant that she appears essentially to the male as a sexual being. For him she is sex -- absolute sex, no less. She is defined and differentiated with reference to man and not he with reference to her; she is incidental, the inessential as opposed to the essential. He is the Subject, he is the Absolute -- she is the Other. . Simone De Beauvoir
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Girls are weighed down by restrictions, boys with demands - two equally harmful disciplines. Simone De Beauvoir
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We will not let ourselves be intimidated by the number and violence of attacks against women; nor be fooled by the self-serving praise showered on the “real woman”; nor be won over by men’s enthusiasm for her destiny, a destiny they would not for the world want to share. Simone De Beauvoir
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A woman's situation, i.e those meanings derived from the total context in which she comes to maturity, disposes her to apprehend her body not as instrument of her transcendence, but "an object destined for another. Simone De Beauvoir
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One is not born, but rather becomes a woman. Simone De Beauvoir
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Ethics is the triumph of freedom over facticity. Simone De Beauvoir
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In oppressing, one becomes oppressed. Men are enchained by reason of their very sovereignty; it is because they alone earn money that their wives demand checks, it is because they alone engage in a business or profession that their wives require them to be successful, it is because they alone embody transcendence that their wives wish to rob them of it by taking charge... Simone De Beauvoir
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I was convinced that I would be, that I was already, one in a million. Simone De Beauvoir
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Suddenly I was struck motionless: I was living through the first chapter of a novel in which I was the heroine; she was still almost a child, but we, too, were growing up. Simone De Beauvoir
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The present is a transitory existence which is made in order to be abolished: it retrieves itself only by transcending itself toward the permanence of future being; it is only as an instrument, as a means, it is only by it's efficacy with regard to the coming of the future that the present is validly realized: reduced to itself it is nothing , one may dispose of it as he pleases. Simone De Beauvoir
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In the old days the worst part of my depression used to be the astonishment it caused me, the scandalized way in which I fought against it. Nowadays, on the other hand, I accept it cheerfully enough, like an old familiar friend. Simone De Beauvoir
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The fear of death never left me; I couldn't get used to the thought; I would still sometimes shake and weep with terror. By contrast, the fact of existence here and now sometimes took on a glorious splendour. Simone De Beauvoir
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To emancipate woman is to refuse to confine her to the relations she bears to man, not to deny them to her; let her have her independent existence and she will continue nonetheless to exist for him also: mutually recognising each other as subject, each will yet remain for the other an other. The reciprocity of their relations will not do away with the miracles — desire, possession, love, dream, adventure — worked by the division of human beings into two separate categories; and the words that move us — giving, conquering, uniting — will not lose their meaning. On the contrary, when we abolish the slavery of half of humanity, together with the whole system of hypocrisy that it implies, then the 'division' of humanity will reveal its genuine significance and the human couple will find its true form. Simone De Beauvoir
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One always has to wait until the sugar melts, the memory dies, the wound scars over, the sun sets, the unhappiness lifts and fades away. Simone De Beauvoir
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I had to call the past to life, and illuminate every corner of the five continents, descend to the centre of the earth and make the circuit of the moon and stars Simone De Beauvoir
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Weakness' is weakness only in light of the aims man sets for himself, the instruments at his disposal and the laws he imposes. Simone De Beauvoir
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Men’s economic privilege, their social value, the prestige of marriage, the usefulness of masculine support–all these encourage women to ardently want to please men. They are on the whole still in a state of serfdom. It follows that woman knows and chooses herself not as she exists for herself but as man defines her. She thus has to be described first as men dream of her since her being-for-men is one of the essential factors of her concrete condition. . Simone De Beauvoir
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That's what I consider true generosity: You give your all, and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing. Simone De Beauvoir
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What do you believe in ?""People's sufferings, and the fact that it is abominable. One should do everything to abolish it. To tell you the truth, nothing else seems to me of any importance. Simone De Beauvoir
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To be oneself, simply oneself, is so amazing and utterly unique an experience that it's hard to convince oneself so singular a thing happens to everybody. Simone De Beauvoir
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It is dreadful to think that behind me my own past is no longer anything but shifting darkness. Simone De Beauvoir
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But this element of failure is a very condition of his life; one can never dream of eliminating it without immediately dreaming of death. This does not mean that one should consent to failure, but rather one must consent to struggle against it without respite. Simone De Beauvoir
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Trudging alone along that black road, sometimes in the teeth of wind and rain, and watching the white distant gleam of convolvulus through the park railings, gave me an exhilarating sensation of adventure. Simone De Beauvoir
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A freedom which is interested only in denying freedom must be denied. And it is not true that the recognition of the freedom of others limits my own freedom: to be free is not to have the power to do anything you like; it is to be able to surpass the given toward an open future; the existence of others as a freedom defines my situation and is even the condition of my own freedom. I am oppressed if I am thrown into prison, but not if I am kept from throwing my neighbor into prison. Simone De Beauvoir
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The adventure is which I have shared so passionately is not over--this adventure with its doubt, failure, the dreariness of no progress, then a glimpse of light, a hope, a hypothesis confirmed; and then after weeks and months of anxious perseverance, the intoxication of success. Simone De Beauvoir
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There were no scruples, no feelings of respect or loyal affection that would stop us from making up our minds by the pure light of reason - and of our own desires. Simone De Beauvoir
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Fathers never have exactly the daughters they want because they invent a notion a them that the daughters have to conform to. Simone De Beauvoir
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To re-establish man at the heart of his destiny is, they claim, to repudiate all ethics. However, far from God's absence authorizing all license, the contrary is the case, because man is abandoned on the earth, because his acts are definitive, absolute engagements. He bears the responsibility for a world which is not the work of a strange power, but of himself, where his defeats are inscribed, & his victories as well. Simone De Beauvoir
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Why shouldn't a mystical theology be possible? 'I want to touch God or become God, ' I declared in my journal. All through that year I abandoned myself intermittently to these deliriums. Simone De Beauvoir
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At the present time there still exist many doctrines which choose to leave in the shadow certain troubling aspects of a too complex situation. But their attempt to lie to us is in vain. Cowardice does not pay. Those reasonable metaphysics, those consoling ethics with which they would like to entice us only accentuate the disorder from which we suffer. Simone De Beauvoir
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They use the pretext of avoiding war, to make you swallow any kind of peace, said Paul. They use the pretext of a revolution to involve us in any kind of war, said Jardinet. Simone De Beauvoir
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But an action which wants to serve man ought to be careful not to forget him on the way, if it chooses to fulfill itself blindly, it will lose its meaning or will take on an unforeseen meaning; for the goal is not fixed once & for all; it is defined all along the road which leads up to it. Simone De Beauvoir
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As far as I am concerned sexuality no longer exists. I used to call this indifference serenity: all at once I have come to see it in another light–it is a mutilation; it is the loss of a sense. The lack of it makes me blind to the needs, the pains, and the joys of those who do possess it. Simone De Beauvoir
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It was an odd experience, this bringing to life of pages born of my pen and forgotten. From time to time they interested me -- they surprised me as much as if someone else had written them; yet I recognized the vocabulary, the shape of the sentences, the drive, the elliptical forms, the mannerisms. These pages were soaked through and through with my self -- there was a sickening intimacy about it, like the smell of a bedroom in which one has been shut up too long. Simone De Beauvoir
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Vengeance is pointless, but certain men do not have a place in the world we sought to construct Simone De Beauvoir
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Vengeance is pointless, but certain men did not have a place in the world we sought to construct Simone De Beauvoir
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The continuous work of our life, ” says Montaigne, “is to build death.” He quotes the Latin poets: Prima, quae vitam dedit, hora corpsit. And again: Nascentes morimur. Man knows and thinks this tragic ambivalence which the animal and the plant merely undergo. A new paradox is thereby introduced into his destiny. “Rational animal, ” “thinking reed, ” he escapes from his natural condition without, however, freeing himself from it. He is still a part of this world of which he is a consciousness. He asserts himself as a pure internality against which no external power can take hold, and he also experiences himself as a thing crushed by the dark weight of other things. At every moment he can grasp the non-temporal truth of his existence. But between the past which no longer is and the future which is not yet, this moment when he exists is nothing. This privilege, which he alone possesses, of being a sovereign and unique subject amidst a universe of objects, is what he shares with all his fellow-men. In turn an object for others, he is nothing more than an individual in the collectivity on which he depends. Simone De Beauvoir
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As long as there have been men and they have lived, they have all felt this tragic ambiguity of their condition, but as long as there have been philosophers and they have thought, most of them have tried to mask it. Simone De Beauvoir
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All she had to do was make the simplest of gestures - open her hands and let go her hold. She lifted one hand and moved the fingers of it; they responded, in surprise and obedience, and this obedience of a thousand little unsuspected muscles was in itself a miracle. Why ask for more? Simone De Beauvoir
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The day had been spent in the expectation of these hours, and now they were crumbling away, becoming, in their turn, another period of expectancy... It was a journey without end, leading to an indefinite future, eternally shifting just as she was reaching the present. Simone De Beauvoir