24 Quotes & Sayings By Ron White

Ron White is an American stand up comedian, actor, writer and musician. He was born in Houston, Texas on August 27, 1954. He was raised in the Houston suburb of New Caney, Texas. He graduated from New Caney High School in 1972. He attended Alvin Community College in Alvin, Texas before transferring to The University of Houston in Houston, Texas where he played for the Houston Cougars football team. White played defensive tackle for the Cougars from 1974 to 1976 Read more

In his senior year, he was drafted by the Denver Broncos of the National Football League (NFL). On October 7, 1976, after training camp cutdowns he played his first NFL game against the Indianapolis Colts which ended with a 20-7 loss for Denver. In 1981 Ron White appeared on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson" which led to a regular role on NBC's "Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C." as Gomer Pyle's best friend Platoon Sergeant Rene Gagnon which lasted four seasons from 1982 through 1986 before being cancelled. During his time on "Gomer Pyle", he met his wife Veronica as well as his future comedy partner Jeffrey Davis during a long term relationship with Joan Rivers that ended after she became a regular on "The Tonight Show".

In 1985 Ron White starred as himself in the motion picture "" playing a version of himself who owns a bar called "Ron's Place" which is frequented by country singer George Strait and his band The Highwaymen. In 1987 Ron White co-wrote the syndicated television series "Ron & Tammy: A Love Story" with Tammy Lynn Michaels which lasted two seasons from 1987 to 1988 before being cancelled. In 1989 Ron White appeared as himself again in an episode of "The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air" playing himself who wants to buy Will Smith's barber shop but instead winds up buying Will's house and is eventually bought out by Will who then builds a new barber shop next door to what used to be Ron's Place called The Black Barbershop owned and operated by Will and Carlton Banks and their friend Karyn Lockhart (played by actress Cheryl Hines).

In 2006 Ron White appeared as himself for a second time on "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air" this time playing himself who wants to buy Will Smith's barber shop but instead winds up buying Will's house and is eventually bought out by Will who then builds a new barber shop next door to

I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make...
1
I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't...
2
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability. Ron White
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find...
3
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and have a party! Ron White
4
A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess. Ron White
5
There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup anyway, so I don't know what they're doing. Ron White
6
I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship. Ron White
7
Vegas is famous for a lot of things, and bad marriages are one of them. Margo and I are proof that you can make this work. It just takes a little effort. Ron White
8
If you become famous and don't have a live show to back it up, they're not going to pay you any money. Ron White
9
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more. Ron White
10
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it. Ron White
11
If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being true to their nature... that's what takes a long time to learn. Ron White
12
Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane. Ron White
13
The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really. Ron White
14
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper. Ron White
15
My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy. Ron White
16
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong. Ron White
17
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White
18
The next time you have a thought... let it go. Ron White
19
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy. Ron White
20
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow. Ron White
21
I've got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called 'Jayne Mansfield's Car.' I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie. Ron White
22
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, 'I'm not even a 10th of this man.' Ron White
23
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range. Ron White