1
Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenientMilton Berle
2
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a doorMilton Berle
3
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.Milton Berle
4
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?Milton Berle
5
I can't tell you his age but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.Milton Berle
6
Committee: A group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.Milton Berle
7
I'd like to tell you some jokes now but you'd only laugh.Milton Berle
8
Sex at eighty-four is terrific especially the one in the winter.Milton Berle
9
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.Milton Berle
10
Laughter is an instant vacation.Milton Berle
11
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.Milton Berle
12
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.Milton Berle
13
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.Milton Berle
14
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.Milton Berle
15
There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer.Milton Berle