59 Quotes & Sayings By Katie Macalister

Katie MacAlister is a clinical psychologist and author of the New York Times bestsellers The Guilt Trip, which was chosen as one of the top ten books of 2011 by Oprah Winfrey, and The First 30 Days: A Week-by-Week Guide to Getting Your New Job Done Right. She is a regular contributor to Better Homes and Gardens, Redbook, Self, and Women's Health magazines, and has been featured on Good Morning America, The Today Show, The Dr. Oz Show®, and Fox News.

Hey! ” I said, indignation filling me. “I’m immortal! Doesn’t...
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Hey! ” I said, indignation filling me. “I’m immortal! Doesn’t that mean I won’t get saggy boobs and gray hair? Because if it doesn’t mean that, I want a refund– Katie MacAlister
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Are you threatening me?” He looked completely outraged at such a thing.“ You bet your incredibly attractive and probably hard enough to bounce a quarter off ass I am! ” she snapped back. An indescribable look flitted across his face. “You are the most irreverent woman I’ve ever met.”“ And you’re the handsomest man I’ve ever seen in my life, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to lick you! ” she yelled. Katie MacAlister
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... you've experienced the single scene out there - it's blood test and background checks and references and 'Please pee in this cup before we can go on a date' screenings, all clinical and stripped bare of any romance. Katie MacAlister
Do you want me to ride you like a rented...
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Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me. Katie MacAlister
Roxy, stop being so obnoxious!
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Roxy, stop being so obnoxious! " -Joy"I'm never obnoxious; I'm just concerned." -Roxy Katie MacAlister
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Oooh, dinner and a show! How come you never take us to dinner and a show?" He smiled at Roxy. "I would spend the entire evening fending off the hordes of your admirers." She fanned herself and grinned back at him. "You gotta love all that suave debonairness! Katie MacAlister
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Yes, he is a man, so genetically he's engineered to be dense about many things, but he's not stupid. Katie MacAlister
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Honest to god, Clare, you act like the dress is more important than you being shot! ” Of course it is! It’s a Versace, you idiot! Bring help! I’m going to save this dress at all costs.” - Sam to Clare Katie MacAlister
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You think I am very cute, you think me sexy, as well. I can read your thoughts, remember.” I hoisted myself up and slid across his body. You are conceited, arrogant, and domineering, everything I dislike in a man. And you are independent, stubborn, and heedless, everything I dislike in a women. I slid my hands under his back and kissed his dampened lips. So why is it that I love you so much? He smiled a smug, masculine little smile and captured my legs with his. Because I love you, and to be loved by a Dark One is enough for any woman. I pinched him in a particularly vulnerable spot and allowed him to kiss me with all the sexy arrogance he had. Katie MacAlister
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I should warn you, I’m an expert on vampires. I’ve seen every episode made of Buffy, Angel, and Forever Knight, so don’t think a little fang-flashing is going to scare me.” — Nell to AdrianOh, my God! You bit me on the leg! You drank my blood! I am not an appetizer! ” You are much more then an appetizer. You are a twelve-course banquet. — Nell & AdrianI slid my tongue around the glossy enamel of his teeth, pausing to stroke down the length of an elongated canine tooth. Yeah. I know. How stupid is it to French kiss a vampire and not expect sharp teeth? — Nell. Katie MacAlister
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You want to …?” His other eye popped open as I started to slide down his body, intent on exploring that part of him which had given me so much pleasure. He grabbed me before I was able to move four inches. I looked up, worried that I had done something wrong. A familiar strained, tense look was on his face, his eyes screwed up tight. I looked down at his penis. It was no longer in a resting state. “I thought you were sated?” I was. Until you went and mentioned doing that to me. No! Don’t touch me there, woman! For the love of — grk! ” A half hour later, Gabriel, his arm wrapped around me because my legs were unusually weak, hustled me toward the house with a grim look on his . Katie MacAlister
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His laughter echoed through my mind. I have a beautiful woman in my arms, and am taking her back to my home, where she and I will be alone and able to indulge whatever fantasies we choose. What is there not to enjoy? Katie MacAlister
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Do you have some sort of anti-derangement medication? If so, you might wish to take it. Katie MacAlister
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My entire body shaking, I carefully unstrapped the seat belt and turned around as far as I could to look at the backseat. Or rather, the dog that sat on it. He was panting, his eyes round, but there was nothing at all odd about him. Other than the fact that I'd just heard him speak. " You can't talk, " I told him. " I think I can, " he answered. Katie MacAlister
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How was I going to break it to my sister and brother that I was now a demon lord? Katie MacAlister
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It is the way of women to keep us humble, is it not? Katie MacAlister
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I'll drive. But don't you be turning into a dragon while you're in the car. I don't want those claws poking holes in my nice upholstery. Katie MacAlister
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Dragon form is generally reserved for mating and fighting. We found over the years that it was simply easier to blend in - physically speaking - if we resembled those around us. Do you wish to mate with me? Katie MacAlister
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For the record, " I do not desire your body. Not that you're hideous or anything, far from it. Even with those scars, your chest is really nice, and I like your legs because they aren't scrawny, and you have nice shoulders and naughty bits, but I've never been one to put physical attributes ahead of more important things." " Such as?" He had his hands on his hips when he asked the question, which just made me want to giggle again. " Intelligence, a sense of humor, and oh yes, not being a mythical creature." I swallowed another giggle. "Not that it wasn't a cool form, but still. I like my men without the sort of baggage that must go with being a shape-shifter." " Is that so?" One eyebrow lifted. " Yes." " Then you will not like this." He pulled me against him, his mouth moving into place on mine, his breath hotter than I could have imagined. And then he kissed the very wits right out of my brain. Katie MacAlister
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Too much talking and not enough writhing in ecstasy. You will commence writhing now. Katie MacAlister
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He's not really my man, " I protested. One fuzzy white eyebrow rose over the lens of his glasses. "You were certainly ogling him as if he was. Katie MacAlister
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No, I didn't enjoy that in the least. Do it again so I can not enjoy it some more. Katie MacAlister
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I'm not at all the sort of woman who kisses strange dragons when she comes across them. Katie MacAlister
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Oh, boy, " Jim said, giving an excited wiggle. "Cat fight! Wish I had some popcorn. Katie MacAlister
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Stop fussing over me, woman. I will be whole again shortly, and then you can resume ogling me and desiring my body. Katie MacAlister
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I'm sure nothing more exciting will happen beyond finding some Roman ruins beneath the pasture, " Gunner predicted, an excellent example of why he would never be called psychic in any understanding of the word. Katie MacAlister
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You're handsome and you have a nice accent, and a chest that would make a nun perspire. Katie MacAlister
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I have a bra on, " I said helpfully." I noticed. Might I remove that, too?"" Gunner, " I said sternly, or as sternly as a person could while she stood in a man's castle, her hands full of his ass. "You've got your hands on my boobs, and your tongue down my cleavage. At this point if I'm not yelling for the police, you can probably take it for granted that you have my consent to remove my bra."" I like to make sure, " he said, pulling his head out of my breasts for a moment. "Some women have limits. Katie MacAlister
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He flashed a grin over his shoulder at me. "Ready to be astounded?" I eyed him. "You're not going to drop your trousers and demand I admire your gorgeous testicles, are you?"" Not after you disparaged their beauty. Katie MacAlister
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Stop lusting after my brother, wife." Elliott said without looking up from where a laptop sat on a large desk. "Else I'll have to get the parrot out. Katie MacAlister
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Do they expect us to have sex right here on the kitchen table?" Gunner, who was chewing a piece of toast, paused, considered the idea, and then shook his head. "Too messy. We'd get sugar everywhere. Plus, Cressy might walk in, and then I'd have to get her a second horse. Katie MacAlister
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I have to say that you're the last person I'd have expected would have a seventeen-year-old daughter. You're so..." Alice stopped, suddenly looking guilty." Dashing?" Gunner supplied. "Debonair?""A bit of a dawg, actually. Katie MacAlister
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Gunner Ainslie made a face at his sister-in-law. "'Amateur' is a bit rough, Alice. I took a degree in archaeology, after all." She looked even more confused. "Then why are you a photographer now instead of an archaeologist?"" Because he didn't want to be a burden to the estate like all my other siblings, " his brother Elliott, the current Baron Ainslie, answered, giving his wife a squeeze. "Or so he said. Frankly, I think it was a cover so he could take pictures of unclothed women. Katie MacAlister
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Are you one of those fifty-shades-of-bondage people? I haven't been into that in the past, but I might be willing to try with you. Although I would want to be the one to do the bondaging, while you would have to be the bondagee. Katie MacAlister
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...There's a bit of a difference between a guy lying back being all sexy and come hither and mmrowr-worthy, and a man who has a toy stuffed parrot hanging from his nips. Katie MacAlister
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Elliot - Elliot waved absently, making a decision right then and there. He'd take the trip that Patrick offered. A cruise down Europe's most famous rivers couldn't be any more disruptive than home, after all. Alice -I stood up shaking the laptop at nothing. "He made me think we were going to get married at the end of this trip! He had me look up the laws for Americans getting married in Budapest! ""Ball-hanging is too good for him. He serves something worse. Off with his head! "" I will take that trip! " I yelled at the small living room filled with boxes that I had yet to unpack. "And I will enjoy myself! A lot! . Katie MacAlister
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It could have been quite worse, " he agreed magnanimously. " And those two guys who felt up your butt while the maintenance dude was working on that hinge were kicked out because they violated the 'must have fondler's consent' rule, or so that pink-haired woman who spoke English said, so at least they won't do that to the next guy trapped in the stocks." " I will sleep easier knowing that. Katie MacAlister
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Hell, " he said, looking down his body. "I shouldn't have thought about that just yet. Now Alice is going to come out of the bathroom and see you standing there being demanding. That's not very gentlemanly.." This just made him even harder. With a sigh, he snatched up her pirate hat and slapped it over his crotch. "There. Now we can at least present the semblance of a man who doesn't have a single track mind. Katie MacAlister
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I have a hat for it, actually." Elliott made a vague gesture with one hand. "Well, it's more of a full-body suit, really." " Is that a euphemism for a condom?" " No." He marched past me and lay down on the bed. "My mother knitted me a willy-warmer a few years back when we were having a cold stretch. She felt I wasn't like to produce the grandchildren she desires if I had as she put it, frost-shriveled parts. . Katie MacAlister
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Are you going to last if I start nibbling at your ankles and work my way up?" " No. You might make it to my knee, but only if I think about starving children and venereal warts. Katie MacAlister
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You are such a stick-in-the-mud sometimes, you know that?" My annoyance faded. Elliott, poor man, truly believe what he was saying. He thought life was better when it was organized and structured until all the fun had been squeezed out of it. "Look, one of the things I've learned from life is that you have to grab what you can take, because you never know if it'll be there later. I'm here right now. So are you. And I just bet you if I stick my hands down your pants, you'll be ready for a little fun in no time." His nostrils flared, and his voice took on that haughty lord-of-the-manor tone that made me want to giggle. "I assure you, madam, that I am in full control of my libido. If I did not wish to become aroused by you, I wouldn't." I put my hand on his fly. Just that, no caressing, no stroking, just my palm on his zipper. I could feel him getting hard within seconds. I cocked an eyebrow at him. " As it happens, I want to be aroused, " he said with an attempt at dignity. "I have decided that I will, just this once, bend my inviolable rule about not stopping until I am done with my daily quota of writing. . Katie MacAlister
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The thought struck me, as I went about my daily ablutions, that Elliot had awfully nice hair for a man who’d take someone else’s ticket. It wasn’t long, but had a small curl to it that made you think about running your fingers through it. “Not that I have any intention of doing so , ” I told my reflection in the steam mirror. “Even if I was looking for a man, and I’m certainly not that stupid, he would be off the table. He’s friend to a rat bastard.” It was just a shame, too. How many bona fide lords does a girl meet? And how many of them have BBC voices, and nice faces, and curly hair that looks soft and silky and utterly gropeworthy? . Katie MacAlister
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I'm wondering why I thought it was a good idea to fill my purse with eggs." He blinked at me. I pulled a cold, flabby fried egg from mny bag, followed by its twin, holding them up so he could see. "Eggs." "You couldn't carry a packet of peanuts like a normal person?" he asked. I smiled. "I've never done normal particularly well.... Katie MacAlister
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I would totally support a pond scene like the one in PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, but only if you were stripped first." He slid her a glance out of the corner of his eye. She was giving him a lascivious grin that made him feel like singing at the top of his lungs. "You have a smutty mind, Alice. It's one of the many things I admire in you. Unfortunately, we are in a holy place, and although I don't particularly hold strong religious feelings, I feel it would be insulting to the caretakers of this cathedral to give in to your lustful desires and engage in sex right her and now." He thought for a moment. "Although I have to admit it is a tempting thought.. Katie MacAlister
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I don't know whether to be pleased that our lovemaking was of such a high quality that you immediately want more, or if it's an indication you are one of those sex-addicted people who are never satisfied. Katie MacAlister
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...I was enjoying conducting highly charged sexual banter with you." " As was I, although if we continue along that line, you're going to make it extremely painful for me to walk. Shall we cool down our libidos with a spot of crypt viewing? Katie MacAlister
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Geez, what do I need to do, use semaphore? I told you I was unclaimed. Katie MacAlister
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You think I'm deranged! How refreshing. Everyone here takes me so seriously, it's a wonderful change to be thought mentally deficient. Katie MacAlister
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You took a bath without me?" I smiled to myself at the accusation in his voice. Katie MacAlister
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I don't like this."" I know you don't, my little spaetzel. But I am too worn out to run from both the police and your murderous twin, and Damian's looking peaky, plus Christian did apologize for trying to kill us earlier."" I wasn't talking about that. It's your lamentable habit of using completely unsuitable love names for me that gives me grief, " Adrian groused. "I am not a lambypie, nor am I a spaetzel. . Katie MacAlister
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I ground my teeth. "Just when I thought I was getting a handle on this whole Dark One/demon lord/imp thing, you go and throw knockers into the mix. I'm going to have to request that you stop, Adrian. I'm about at my limit of how many impossible things I can believe before breakfast." He flashed a heart-stoppingly roguish grin at me, his dimples just about bringing me to my knees. "Your middle name wouldn't be Alice, would it?" he asked." No, it's Diane, and you're no White Rabbit, so let's just stop pretending we're in Wonderland, OK?"He laughed and pointed across the tiny square at our destination. I watched him for a moment, seeing a glimpse of the charming, charismatic man he must have been before the demon lord cursed him and leeched away all the softer emotions. Katie MacAlister
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Saer is a great big poop, and you shouldn't listen to anything he says, " I said, panting just a little." Obviously, he was trying to demoralize me."" Men who are poops demoralize people all the time, " I agreed Katie MacAlister
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We have had this discussion before. You are my son. I love you. I will always love you. But I also love Nell, and if you give her the chance and stop rejecting her advances, she will take you into her heart as well."" Oh, yeah, like he's going to allow me to do that, " I muttered Katie MacAlister
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Aryans?" I asked, thinking I must have heard the word incorrectly. Christian and Allie nodded." Aryans as in white supremacist, those sorts of Aryans?""Yes, " Christian said." Neo- Nazis?" My mind was having a hard time grasping the idea of a power-hungry vampire leading an army of Hitler's Youth. "Skinheads and their ilk?"" Hasi, what is it you find so unbelievable?" Adrian asked, a smile in his voice." Oh, I don't know. I guess I just expected that any army Saer raised would be… you know… the evil undead." Everyone just looked at me. "Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. Neo-Nazis are more or less the evil undead. Right. So we have Saer about to attack at any moment with a bunch of goose-stepping Nazis. Great. Anyone here do a really good Winston Churchill impression?. Katie MacAlister
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In the center of the room Sarra the demon hung upside down by one leg, its arms bound behind its back, its suit scuffed-looking. Beneath it, crawling around an intricately scribed circle, a woman with short, curly red hair drew binding symbols with a gold stick. She looked up as I fanned away the smoke that was billowing up from the crack in the tile. "You're a Summoner. Hullo. I'm Noelle. Did you know that you have mismatched eyes?" I walked around the demon. It glared at me. "Yes, I know. Why do you have Sarra strung up by one leg?" She drew another symbol. It flared bright green as soon as the stick lifted from the circle. "It was getting a bit stroppy with me. The Hanged Man always teaches them a few manners. It's retaliating with the smoke. Are those spirits I saw yours, then?"" Yes, they are. There are four others as well. I hate to be a bother, but I'm in a bit of a hurry, what with Christian being held by this one's master and all, so if you could possibly just give me the abbreviated version of what's going on here, I'll be on my way to rescue him." She leaned back on her heels and sucked the tip of her gold stick. "Asmodeus, eh?" The demon snarled. A chunk of ceiling fell behind me. We both ignored it. It just never does to give a demon the satisfaction of knowing it's startled you." It's a nasty bag of tricks, but I heard through the demonic grapevine that it was weakened and searching for a suitable sacrifice to regain its power, " she added." Well, it can't have Christian; he's mine. Back to the demon, if you don't mind…" She looked up at Sarra, still sucking the stick. "It's a pretty specimen, isn't it? I like the hair gel. Nice touch. The mustache is a bit much, though, don't you think? Makes it look so smarmy."" Um…"" I'm destroying it, so I suppose it really doesn't matter." I blinked and avoided two wine bottles as they flew out of a rack when the demon hissed at the Guardian. . Katie MacAlister
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Well, possibly, " I said, feeling my lips twitch again. "But maybe first you would tell us why you chose to manifest yourself in the form of Shirley Temple as last seen on the 'Good Ship Lollipop'?"The demon twirled around, its big pink sash fluttering as it smoothed down its dress and frilly little petticoat. "My grotesque form isn't making you sick with fright?" We both shook our heads, Noelle with a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing out loud. "Shirley Temple at her pinnacle was frightening, " I finally told it, "but not in the sense I think you mean. . Katie MacAlister
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...my soul bleeding tears of anguish Katie MacAlister
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My heart sobbed a lament that was hard to ignore. Katie MacAlister