Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?Graham Chapman
Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause]. .. I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!Graham Chapman
We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!Graham Chapman
When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.Graham Chapman
McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. Mc Gough: Really? When?Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time ...Graham Chapman
Henry KissingerHow I'm missing yer You're the Doctor of my dreams With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare And your Machiavellian schemes I know they say that you are very vain And short and fat and pushy But at least you're not insane Henry KissingerHow I'm missing yer And wishing you were here Henry KissingerHow I'm missing yer You're so chubby and so neat With your funny clothes and your squishy nose You're like a German parakeet All right so people say that you don't care But you've got nicer legs than HitlerAnd bigger tits than CherHenry KissingerHow I'm missing yer And wishing you were here .Graham Chapman
If life seems jolly rotten, There’s something you’ve forgotten.Graham Chapman
..A secure future seemed mapped out for me. Too secure, too mapped out. If I carried on in medicine, I realized I'd have a pretty good idea exactly what I'd be doing ten, twenty and even thirty years from that moment. It struck me like a halibut from the North Sea that that was not the way my life should go at all. What was the point of working on through the age of sixty-five and taking a chance on a better reincarnation next time? .Graham Chapman
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.Graham Chapman
I fart in your general direction.Graham Chapman
Your highness, when I said that you are like a stream of bat's piss, I only mean that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is darkGraham Chapman
Michael Palin : "I am sorry to interrupt you there Dennis, but he's crossed it out. Thomas Hardy here on the first day of his new novel has crossed out the only word he has written so far and he is gazing off into space. Ohh! Oh dear he's signed his name again." Graham Chapman: "It looks like Tess of the D'Urbervilles all over again."- Matching Tie and Handkerchief, "Novel WritingGraham Chapman
You see, I don't belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.Graham Chapman
All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.Graham Chapman