96 Quotes & Sayings By Erica Jong

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. Erica Jong

I have accepted fear as part of life — specifically the fear of change... I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back.... Erica Jong

Most people in this country are looking for literature that is useful. They feel that just exploring their feelings is good enough - they should be reading about leveraged buy-outs or how to get thin. We live in a culture that is so absolutely, madly focused on commercialism and on creating money and completely turned away from any other kind of creative value. People don't generally turn to poetry unless they're bereaved or have fallen in love. Or in adolescence, when their feelings are very strong and turbulent. I think most of us are dying for lack of spirit in this culture. Erica Jong

All writing problems are psychological problems. Blocks usually stem from the fear of being judged. If you imagine the world listening, you'll never write a line. That's why privacy is so important. You should write first drafts as if they will never be shown to anyone. Erica Jong

The greatest feminists have also been the greatest lovers. I'm thinking not only of Mary Wollstonecraft and her daughter Mary Shelley, but of Anais Nin, Edna St. Vincent Millay, and of course Sappho. You cannot divide creative juices from human juices. And as long as juicy women are equated with bad women, we will err on the side of being bad. Erica Jong

Beware of books. They are more than innocent assemblages of paper and ink and string and glue. If they are any good, they have the spirit of the author within. Authors are rogues and ruffians and easy lays. They are gluttons for sweets and savories. They devour life and always want more. They have sap, spirit, sex. Books are panderers. The Jews are not wrong to worship books. A real book has pheromones and sprouts grass through its cover. . Erica Jong

Husband and wife have no time left to spend together. Marriage took away our one reason for getting married. Erica Jong

We came to realize how little married couples see of each other once they crawl in the bourgeois box. Erica Jong

Maybe marriages are best in middle age. When all the nonsense falls away and you realize you have to love one another because you're going to die anyway. Erica Jong

The virtues about marriage were mostly negative virtues. Being unmarried in a man's world was such a hassle that anything had to be better. Marriage was better. But not much. Damned clever, I thought, how men had made life so intolerable for single women that most would gladly embrace even bad marriages instead. Erica Jong

Everyone has talent. What's rare is the courage to follow it to the dark places where it leads. Erica Jong

Many people today believe that cynicism requires courage. Actually, cynicism is the height of cowardice. It is innocence and open-heartedness that requires the true courage-however often we are hurt as a result of it. Erica Jong

We're programmed for suffering, not joy. The masochism is built in at a very early age. You're supposed to work and suffer - and the trouble is: you believe it. Erica Jong

I had forgotten how awful it was to be a woman alone--the leering glances, the catcalls, the offers of help which you dared not accept for fear of incurring a sexual debt. The awful sense of vulnerability. No wonder I had gone from man to man and always wound up married. How could I have left Bennett? How could I have forgotten? Erica Jong

I don't believe what you believe, " I yelled, "and I don't respect your beliefs and I don't respect you for holding them. If you can honestly make a statement like that about the power behind the throne, how can you possibly understand anything about me or the things I'm struggling with? I don't want to live by the things you live by, I don't want that kind of life and I don't see why I should be judged by its standards. Erica Jong

What all the ads and whoreoscopes seemed to imply was that if only you were narcissistic enough, if only you took proper care of your smells, your har, your boobs, your eyelashes, your armpits, your crotch, your stars, your scars, and your choice of Scotch in bars - you would meet a beautiful, powerful, potent, and rich man who would satisfy every longing, fill every hole, make your heart skip a beat (or stand still), make you misty, and fly you to the moon (preferably on gossamer wings), where you would live totally satisfied forever. Erica Jong

When women have so absorbed the disease of sexism that they themselves can inflict it on each other, we clearly have a perfect, self-replenishing machine for the continuation of sexism. Unable to turn our assertiveness against men, we turn it against each other. Thus we remain stuck in the troubles we always had. It is imperative we renovate the machine -- no, not renovate it, but smash it entirely, so that we allow women to be all they need to be. . Erica Jong

Why are women so ungenerous to other women? Is it because we have been tokens for so long? Or is there a deeper animosity we owe it to ourselves to ex Erica Jong

Naomi Wolf dares to explode the myth of 'victim feminism' and pleads for allowing women to be as full of good and bad desires as men, as avid for sexual fulfilment and power as men, but held back by the twin myths of good-girlism and sentimental sisterhood. Though she is perhaps too sanguine about women quickly overcoming their fear of power, Wolf fills me with hope because I see her analysis as having shattered the false categories that imprisoned my generation. Women do not have to agree about everything to join in alliance with each other to promote female power. Women do not have to cast out their inner bad girl to assert their right to power. Women do not have to cast out their sexuality to be 'good sisters'. Erica Jong

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that talent to the dark place where it leads. Erica Jong

It's only when you're forbidden to talk about the future that you suddenly realize how much the future normally occupies the present, how much of daily life is usually spent making plans and attempting to control the future. Never mind that you have no control over it. The idea of the future is our greatest entertainment, amusement, and time-killer. Erica Jong

Tears are a form of communication - like speech - and require a listener. Erica Jong

It was easy enough to kill yourself in a fit of despair. It was easy enough to play the martyr. It was harder to do nothing. To endure your life. To wait. Erica Jong

There is nothing fiercer than a failed artist. The energy remains, but having no outlet, it implodes in a great fart of rage which smokes up all the inner windows of the soul. Erica Jong

There is nothing fiercer than a failed artist. The energy remains, but, having no outlet, it implodes in a great fart of rage which smokes up all the inner windows of the soul. Erica Jong

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. Erica Jong

Because When you write about people, you inevitably offend--but if you write about animals, the evil do not recognize themselves but the good understand immediately. Erica Jong

...filled her memory bank with shiny coins. Erica Jong

Without the gods, how would I sing?' I asked. With your own voice, ' he said. Erica Jong

But if the gods do not exist at all - then we are lost, ' I said. On the contrary - we are found! ' said Aesop.But when we are afraid, who can we turn to, if not the gods?' Ourselves. We turn to ourselves anyway. We only pretend there are gods and that they care about us. It is a comforting falsehood. Erica Jong

In a certain sense, you do write to seduce the world, but when it happens, you begin to feel like a whore. The disparity between your life and your work turns out to be as great as ever. And the people seduced by your work are usually seduced by all the wrong reasons. Erica Jong

...readers who think I have answers when all I have are a few pointed questions... Erica Jong

How did I get to be a grown-up? At times, I find myself still sitting on the hillside, plotting revenge against the adult world. Erica Jong

Young women dream of romance and passion as men dream of conquest because those dreams are necessary goads to leaving home and growing up. Erica Jong

She died of internal weeping Erica Jong

There's nothing good about being ordinary. People don't respect you for it. People run after people who are different, who have confidence in their own taste, who don't run with the herd. There is nothing gained by giving in to the pressures of group vulgarity. Erica Jong

You're afraid of criticism, ' she says. 'But criticism is a sign of life! You know who doesn't get criticized? Nonentities! Only the dead escape criticism. Erica Jong

And what is laughter anyway? Changing the angle of vision. Erica Jong

The words carry their own momentum. A confession in motion tends to stay in motion. Newton's first law of jealousy. Erica Jong

Rendall's first law of jealousy: jealousy does the cock harder and pussy wetter. Erica Jong

Fame means millions of people have the wrong idea of who you are. Erica Jong

Fame turns out to be a powerful instrument of grace because it humbles its chosen victims in a hurry. You sail into it, your canvas swelled with grandiosity, and when your fifteen minutes are over and you are becalmed, you realize that grandiosity cannot take you where you need to go. Only then do you learn to row like hell, asking God for the strength to stay afloat. Erica Jong

We also fought about everything -- like real sisters. We fought about money, bedrooms, whose car to take. Everyone of these fights was actually about something else -- usually abandonment. I wanted to be first on her list and she wanted to be first on mine. I wanted all her attention, all her love, all her care. I wanted her to be my mommy, my daddy, my sister. She wanted the same from me. She wanted to be fed, cared for, nurtured without limit. She wanted backrubs, poems, pastas, and to be left alone when she needed to be left alone. She wanted to come before my writing, my child, my man. And I wanted no less from her. She was sick at first, so I took care of her. Then I was jealous of the attention and she took care of me. We had gone down into the primal cave of our friendship. we had felt loved enough to rage and fight, to show the inside of our naked throats and our bared fags, and the friendship took another leap toward intimacy. Without rage, intimacy can't be. . Erica Jong

Generations of women have sacrificed their lives to become their mothers. But we do not have that luxury any more. The world has changed too much to let us have the lives our mothers had. And we can no longer afford the guilt we feel at not being our mothers. We cannot afford any guilt that pulls us back to the past. We have to grow up, whether we want to or not. We have to stop blaming men and mothers and seize every second of our lives with passion. We can no longer afford to waste our creativity. We cannot afford spiritual laziness. Erica Jong

Women in America read 'lifestyle' pages which are really glorifications of shopping. They teach us we must veil ourselves in make-up to be loved. And we willingly take the veil, thinking ourselves freed by it. Make-up is no more optional for us than the veil is for Arab women: it is our Western version of the chador. Erica Jong

I have accepted fear as a part of life -specifically the fear of change ... I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back.... Erica Jong

I have accepted fear as a part of life-specifically the fear of change.... I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back.... Erica Jong

I have not ceased being fearful but I have ceased to let fear control me. Erica Jong

Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to follow that talent to the dark place where it leads. Erica Jong

It takes courage to lead a life. Any life. Erica Jong

I have accepted fear as a part of life-specifically the fear of change.... I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back.... Erica Jong

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. Erica Jong

I know some good marriages-marriages where both people are just trying to get through their days by helping each other being good to each other. Erica Jong

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same. Erica Jong

I went for years not finishing anything. Because of course when you finish something you can be judged.... I had poems which were rewritten so many times I suspect it was just a way of avoiding sending them out. Erica Jong

If every day I dare to remember that I am here on loan that this house this hillside these minutes are all leased to me not given I will never despair. Erica Jong

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had. Erica Jong

There are no atheists on turbulent airplanes. Erica Jong

I write lustily and humorously. It isn't calculated it's the way I think. I've invented a writing style that expresses who I am. Erica Jong

And the trouble is if you don't risk anything you risk even more. Erica Jong

Take your life in your own hands and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame. Erica Jong

The soul is awakened through service. Erica Jong

I was afraid to write Fear of Flying ergo I had to write it. I have lived my life according to this principle: If I'm afraid of it then I must do it. Erica Jong

Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark places where it leads. Erica Jong

Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.. .. It really is worth fighting for being brave for risking everything for. And the trouble is if you don't risk everything you risk even more. Erica Jong

Women are individuals in parenting, and why not? Erica Jong

The stones themselves are thick with history, and those cats that dash through the alleyways must surely be the ghosts of the famous dead in feline disguise. Erica Jong

Famous people complain about fame, but they never want to give it back, myself included. Erica Jong

Women are the only exploited group in history to have been idealized into powerlessness. Erica Jong

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. Erica Jong

Men and women, women and men. It will never work. Erica Jong

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads. Erica Jong

My grandchildren are fabulous and funny. Erica Jong

No one ever found wisdom without also being a fool. Writers, alas, have to be fools in public, while the rest of the human race can cover its tracks. Erica Jong

What are the sources of poetry? Love and death and the paradox of love and death. All poetry from the beginning is about Eros and Thanatos. Those are the only subjects. And how Eros and Thanatos interweave. Erica Jong

Poetry is what we turn to in the most emotional moments of our life - when a beloved friend dies, when a baby is born or when we fall in love. Erica Jong

Poetry is the language we speak in the most terrifying or ecstatic passages of our lives. But the very word poetry scares people. They think of their grade school teachers reciting 'Hiawatha' and they groan. Erica Jong

I guess the thing that I'm most proud of is that I kept on writing poetry. I understand that poetry is sort of the source of everything I do. It's the source of my creativity. Erica Jong

I thought to spend my declining years writing poetry and teaching - but that won't pay the Bergdorf's bill. I think I'll move to somewhere life is cheaper. Erica Jong

Often I find that poems predict what I'm going to do later in my own writing, and often I find that poems predict my life. So I think poetry is the most intense expression of feeling that we have. Erica Jong

In poetry you can express almost inexpressible feelings. You can express the pain of loss, you can express love. People always turn to poetry when someone they love dies, when they fall in love. Erica Jong

Solitude is un- American. Erica Jong

When I'm sitting at the desk not being able to write line one, it's silence and despair! It's not so easy to put the pen to the legal pad or type the first sentence on the computer screen. Erica Jong