13 Quotes & Sayings By Dora J Arod

Dora J. Arod became a journalist in 1950. She studied journalism at Columbia University, where she was a member of the Beta Phi Mu sorority. She began her career in journalism in New York City and later moved to Washington, D.C Read more

Her assignments included research for the U.S. House of Representatives and a stint as a correspondent for a national news service. In 1971, she moved to Los Angeles, where she worked as a reporter, interviewer, and editor until retiring from her position as Director of Public Affairs at the American Museum of Natural History in January 1994.

1
My love is pizza shaped. Won’t you have a slice? It’s circular, so there’s enough to go around.
 Dora J. Arod
2
I’m a fake fact factory. The things I make are the things I make up. Also, as a side business, I make love. Actually, I just made that up. Dora J. Arod
3
My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored. Dora J. Arod
4
I had a dream about you. You were an escalator, and I was a flight of stairs. You thought I was a Luddite, and I thought I was as ostrich, because I hadn’t figured out how to put the fly in flight. One day you broke down, and then you saw that you and I weren’t so different after all. Dora J. Arod
5
I had a dream about you. You were crying, and I couldn’t tell if it was because you were sad or because you’d been laughing too hard. So I decided to find out by telling you that I’d just heard from the cops, and your mother had been murdered. Before I got to the punch line you started sobbing in a different manner, so I realized you’d been laughing earlier. By that time the mood had changed, and I decided it best not to deliver the punch line after all. So I sat down next to you and put my arm around you and tried to console you for your perceived loss. 
. Dora J. Arod
I had a dream about you. We were ice fishing...
6
I had a dream about you. We were ice fishing in my freezer. I caught a few cold beers, and you wondered if we should drink them, or throw them back because they were babies.
 Dora J. Arod
I had a dream about you. You were wearing Sylvester...
7
I had a dream about you. You were wearing Sylvester Stallone's sneer as pants, but his lips were saggy on your legs, so you had to wear a mustache as a belt.
 Dora J. Arod
8
I had a dream about you. You were you, but you were many–a multitude of mannequins, each named Manny. And I was me, but I was Dark Jar Tin Zoo, and as such I made love to you–all of you. Then I woke up alone, naked, cuddling a mannequin I named after you who smells like you, because I spray it with the same fragrance you used to wear. Is that crazy? No, I didn’t think so either. 
 Dora J. Arod
9
I had a dream about you. We were in a canoe, and we were paddling across the desert. You said you were thirsty, and I pointed to the sand that surrounded us and said, “No, I will not urinate in your mouth.” At that point I woke up, because I realized I really had to pee–and get a drink of water.
 Dora J. Arod
10
I had a dream about you. You had no skin or muscle on your face, and to try to conceal your bare skull you liberally applied lipstick and makeup. Your birthday was coming up, and I knew you were probably sensitive about parties that emphasize the aging process, so I decided to box up your gift in a coffin and wrap it with black wrapping paper. I got you the best gift ever too–a hooker, who happened to be dead, because that enabled me to procure a sizeable discount.
. Dora J. Arod
12
This book is full of empty love quotes. If you are looking for the meaning of life and love, then this book is for you. You won’t find the answers here, of course, but you’ll be more encouraged than ever to keep on looking. Or maybe you’ll be discouraged. Either way, I’ll have your money, and you’ll have no answers. Sounds like a fair deal to me. 
 Dora J. Arod