19 Quotes & Sayings By Conan Obrien

Conan O'Brien is an American comedian, television host, writer, producer, and actor. His career began in New York City but he is most famous for his stint as the host of NBC's The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. He was also the executive producer of Saturday Night Live during its most successful period in the early 2000s. He has written four books: "I'm on an airplane right now so I can't tell you what they are." "I will tell you when I get home." "They're not good." "They're not bad either." "There's a law in this country that says no one can copyright passive voice."

When all else fails, there's always delusion.
1
When all else fails, there's always delusion. Conan OBrien
2
It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It's not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention. Conan OBrien
Applaud my idiocy.
3
Applaud my idiocy. Conan OBrien
4
All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. Conan OBrien
A study in the Washington Post says that women havebetter...
5
A study in the Washington Post says that women havebetter verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh. Conan OBrien
There is nothing more liberating than having your worst fear...
6
There is nothing more liberating than having your worst fear realized. Conan OBrien
7
Music and comedy are so linked. The rhythm of comedy is con­nected to the rhythm of music. They’re both about creating tension and knowing when to let it go. I’m always surprised when somebody funny is not musical. Conan OBrien
8
Thirty-five things have to go wrong for the best thing to happen in your career Conan OBrien
9
The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.' Conan OBrien
10
The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army. Conan OBrien
11
Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me. Conan OBrien
12
Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen. Conan OBrien
13
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. Conan OBrien
14
President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003. Conan OBrien
15
According to a new survey, 40 percent of adults in Mexico say they would move to the United States if they got a chance. The number would have been higher, but the other 60 percent already live here. Conan OBrien
16
There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized. Conan OBrien
17
The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality. Conan OBrien
18
Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. Conan OBrien